THE FIRST WEEK OF HOMESCHOOL

We have had a good first week. For some reason I haven't been as fearful this year as in previous years. I used to be so nervous and worried, but I think God has freed me slowly but surely (certainly not completely though) from bearing all these responsibilities on my frail shoulders. I have been more excited than in previous years and more patient realizing that I can only work with what my children give me, not with what I want them to give me. Does that make sense?

When the adorable ten year old son, who doesn't want to be snuggled and kissed anymore (sniff, sniff) continues to make the same mistakes, what can you do but repeat to yourself, "Love is patient, love is kind..." This is how my Father treats me. I continually fall into the same pit and He continually stands near and reaches out His hand to get me out. My favorite blogger, Ann Voskamp, said the other day that God has covenanted to make His home inside of us (we are His temple) and He is not going to move out.

When the beautiful nine year old daughter dissolves into tears because she wants it to be perfect and it's not and all I know how to do is hug, it's ok. Children are mirrors of ourselves, showing us our rough edges that we think we've smoothed over. They inherit our weaknesses and sins, and then we're surprised when they make an appearance. I see my own perfectionism in her and my tendency to self-hatred and it makes me sad. I don't want that for her and so I continually remind her of God's love and acceptance of her.

Isn't it amazing that the lessons we teach our children are usually the very ones we need to hear ourselves? God speaks to me through my children - "Aren't you just like this? You need mercy as well. Please accept and receive it."

I cannot imagine learning so much about myself and my children, and God without having them home with me and teaching them myself.

It is hard, but it is good.