OTHERS HAVE GONE BEFORE ME IN THIS JOURNEY
This hymn was written by John Newton and is titled, I Asked the Lord That I Might Grow. Elisabeth Elliot quoted it in a recorded talk I recently listened to.
I asked the Lord that I might grow
In faith, and love, and every grace;
Might more of His salvation know,
And seek, more earnestly, His face.
’Twas He who taught me thus to pray,
And He, I trust, has answered prayer!
But it has been in such a way,
As almost drove me to despair.
I hoped that in some favored hour,
At once He’d answer my request;
And by His love’s constraining pow’r,
Subdue my sins, and give me rest.
Instead of this, He made me feel
The hidden evils of my heart;
And let the angry pow’rs of hell
Assault my soul in every part.
Yea more, with His own hand He seemed
Intent to aggravate my woe;
Crossed all the fair designs I schemed,
Blasted my gourds, and laid me low.
Lord, why is this, I trembling cried,
Wilt thou pursue thy worm to death?
“’Tis in this way, the Lord replied,
I answer prayer for grace and faith.
These inward trials I employ,
From self, and pride, to set thee free;
And break thy schemes of earthly joy,
That thou may’st find thy all in Me.”
In Future Grace, by John Piper, he describes Charles Spurgeon's struggles with recurrent despondency. Spurgeon suffered with gout for most of his life. "Despondency," he said, "is not a virtue; I believe it is a vice. I am heartily ashamed of myself for falling into it, but I am sure there is no remedy for it like a holy faith in God."
Tomorrow I will write about preaching to ourselves. It is a concept that both Martin Lloyd-Jones and Jerry Bridges have written about. I will end with the words of Isaiah ~
"For from of old they have not heard nor perceived by ear, neither has the eye seen a God besides Thee, who acts in behalf of the one who waits for Him." Isaiah 64:4
8 comments:
I'm sorry I don't have any wisdom to offer, just wanted to stop by to give you a cyber hug. ((Meredith)) I'm sorry you're hurting so. Lean hard into Jesus with these heartaches you're carrying.
Love,
Ruthanne
You know what, after rethinking these posts, I'm regretting posting them, I think. Maybe they're too personal. I should save that stuff for my personal journal I think. Also, it's not like I'm suffering with a grave illness or the loss of someone dear to me. I just want more of Jesus and I've felt very "under attack" the past few days. I'm better now, but I feel a little ashamed for writing in such a melancholy way.
Thanks for the prayers.
Don't worry, Meredith...we love you and don't judge you for your more melancholy times. We all have 'em.
May God bless you with a wonderful joy,
~Karen
Meredith, I don't find it melancholy. I find it, Now I hope you don't miss understand, but I find it encouraging. It encourages me because the Lord has works in my life this very way. At the end of the struggle and even pain there is a sense of peace and love of the Lord that can't be put into words. I know the Lord will see you through!! Weepings is only for a while but joy comes in the morning.
"And break thy schemes of earthly joy,
That thou may'st find thy all in Me."
My husband just read me a quote from a book he is reading along these lines If I have time I'll post it.
The Lord bless you and keep you!
Thanks for the encouragement everyone. I appreciate the understanding.
Aliens
Meredith...I have been slowly plowing my way through Future Grace...and reading about the fight of faith being the fight of joy. I so hear you. I am also concurrently reading Piper's Savoring and Seeing Jesus Christ. I would love to hear your thoughts on your current Piper read. I usually only get one paragraph done and have to put it down to ruminate!
Thank you for being you, Meredith---God is glorified.
Warmly,
Ann V Holyexperience
Thank you Ann. I am almost done plowing through Future Grace. The better question as it concerns Piper is which book have I actually finished! LOL I am bad about that. I will try to keep posting about When I Don't Desire God.
Blessings.
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