CONVICTIONS - PT. 4 - BIRTH CONTROL
When my husband and I married almost 12 years ago we knew we were ready to have children right away. We also were pretty sure we wanted God to plan our family size. We weren't adamant or outspoken about this conviction at first. We just agreed that we wanted a big family and were willing to depend on the Lord to plan it. Well, as you might guess, we got pregnant on the honeymoon. I had a painful medication free delivery and couldn't walk "right" for about three weeks. After that I got really scared. I guess a painful delivery will do that to you. So I talked with my husband and we agreed that I would get a prescription for the pill. I don't know if we had given up our former conviction or not. I think the experience of that birth just scared me to death. My husband watched me go through it and wasn't able to do anything to stop the pain. I'm sure that scared him too. I had the pill prescription filled and was planning to start taking them when I started thinking about this decision to go on birth control. Had I asked God about it? Had I prayed about it at all? No. I realized my decision was mostly based on fear and not faith. I started praying and came to Proverbs 3:5-6. God used those verses to convict me that I was not trusting in the Lord with ALL my heart and I wasn't acknowledging Him in ALL my ways. After talking with my husband I decided not to go on the pill. The amazingly ironic part of the story is that when I went to look at the pill prescription I found they had dispensed expired birth control pills to me. Very weird to say the least.
A short time later I came across a piece of literature that forever changed my mind on the pill. It was a booklet written by Randy Alcorn called Does the Birth Control Pill Cause Abortions? I will not go into great length about this booklet but I guarantee you that this booklet is well researched and faithfully presented. Randy Alcorn is a man of integrity.
My conviction was starting to be formed again but it had a lot of rough edges. As I began to interact with others online who had the same conviction I was tempted to look down on families with only one or two children. I would form subconscious judgments about women I knew nothing about. God has shown me since then how prideful and arrogant that is and I continue to fight that temptation of my flesh in this area as well as others.
God has also used my own fertility, and lack thereof, to further refine me. We have three children. We would like more but God has not seen to bless us any further in that way, yet. I have struggled with questions about my health and with the question of why I am not getting pregnant. God has humbled me through this experience and continued to teach me about His loving sovereignty. He has also shown me that while the Bible is clear about the blessing of children (see Psalm 127), it is not my place to tell other women and families how many children they should have. That is something between a husband and wife.
This issue has the potential to be very contentious and personal. The best way I have found to address it is just to be myself. Do not preach. If God gives me an opportunity (which He has) to speak to someone struggling in this area, then I will try to speak with candor and wisdom. I definitely try to speak whenever I hear someone speak of children as a burden, but overall He has not called me to be a spokesperson for this issue. He has called me to love my brothers and sisters in Christ.
Share your thoughts if you want. Thanks for reading.
2 comments:
We have run the gamut of decisions when it has come to birth control, from using it (our thought: 2+2=4...hello!) to surrendering to God (and pregnant within two weeks of doing so!). We did the pill for about 6 months, but besides that used just OTC BC.
And what we have come to realize is this: when I was on birth control, I got pregnant; when I've *not* used birth control, I've NOT gotten pregnant.
So my conclusion is that God indeed controls the womb, and I will simply trust in Him. Without seeming glib, I truly think He likes it that way.
When we were first married, I wanted 8 children and my husband wanted 4. It was all planned out. We would have 4 and then we would see what would happen. :-)
After having 7 children (the first a miscarriage), I can truthfully say that God is totally in control. After the miscarriage, I had two babies 16 months apart. They are best friends and were such an important help to me. They are both in college. Then the Lord indicated to us not to get pregnant for at least 3 years. It was during that time that I had back surgery. It was actually 4 years before we had our 3rd child. We were content. Then the Lord stirred a desire in my husbands heart for a son. Our one and only. :-) He came 4 years after #3. Then 3 years later, another beautiful girl and then 6 years later, my last child. We did not time or plan any of them.
It amazes me just how perfectly timed each one has been for us.
Post a Comment