HE KNOWS THE WAY I TAKE

How easily I forget. At the beginning of the year I chose two verses that I felt the Lord wanted me to use as a guide for 2006. They were Psalm 127:1 ~ "Unless the Lord builds the house, they labor in vain who build it..." and Zechariah 4:6 ~ "...Not by might nor by power, but by My Spirit, says the Lord of hosts." I may have been forgetful of these verses but the Lord certainly has been using them. It seems I've been more anxious and fretful over certain things this year. I've worried about curriculums, my inability to stay consistent with a schedule, my lack of discipline when it comes to finances and housework and some other things.

He knows. He sees. He has not forgotten. He is using these verses I so easily forget. He is peeling back more and more layers to continue to show me the depth of my sinful self-reliance.

It's funny. I always thought I was more like Mary and less like Martha, but God has been showing me how Martha-like I can be. I'll tense up when I see something out of place. I'll stress out when I see a pile of papers that needs to be organized. I'll cower in fear when I think of this great responsibility of educating my children.

He knows that I am dust. My life is but a vapor. But His love is so great that He still desires me to cast all my anxiety upon Him and trust in Him. "Believe My word," He says. Stop trusting in yourself and leaning on your own understanding.

I need to remind myself that I am dust but He is the Lord of hosts. I can strive to be more consistent and faithful in my responsibilities but I will never be perfect. Stop being so hard on yourself. (Yes, I'm preaching to myself!) I am reminded of a poem by Amy Carmichael~

Fret Not Thyself

Far in the future
Lieth a fear,
Like a long, low mist of grey,
Gathering to fall in dreary rain,
Thus doth thy heart within thee complain;
And even now thou art afraid, for round thy dwelling
The flying winds are ever telling
Of the fear that lieth grey,
Like a gloom of brooding mist upon the way.

But the Lord is always kind,
Be not blind,
Be not blind
To the shining of His face,
To the comforts of His grace.
Hath He ever failed thee yet?
Never , never: wherefore fret?
O fret not thyself, nor let
Thy heart be troubled,
Neither let it be afraid.

Near by thy footfall
Springeth a joy,
Like a new-blown little flower,
Growing for thee, to make thee glad.
Let thy countenance be no more sad,
But wake the voice of joy and health within thy dwelling,
And let thy tongue be ever telling,
Not of fear that lieth grey,
But of little laughting flowers beside the way.

For the Lord is always kind,
Be not blind,
Be not blind
To the shining of His face,
To the comforts of His grace.
He hath never failed thee yet.
Never will His love forget.
O fret not thyself, nor let
Thy heart be troubled,
Neither let it be afraid.

"For from of old they have not heard nor perceived by ear, neither has the eye seen a God besides Thee, who acts in behalf of the one who waits for Him." Isaiah 64:4