FASHION INSECURITY
Should I feel embarrassed that I'm 33 and still am unsure of my personal style? Should this be that important to me? I'm not sure (uh oh, there's that insecurity again), but I just don't know how I want to dress lately. Add to this a new experience of what shall I call it...30-something spread, if you know what I mean...and I'm just lost. If I buy another pair of jeans and then wash them and they shrink up so they're too short or buy another pair of shoes that I regret buying 2 weeks later I think I'll scream. It bothers me that I've been getting into a habit lately of checking out everyone's wardrobe and constantly judging it compared to mine.
In the past two years I've met, online, some lovely, godly women who have adopted a mainly dresses wardrobe. Do I want to do the same? I've bought some jumpers and my husband has said that I look frumpy in them. I love this place but it is a little expensive to buy all the time. So how do I combine wanting to look feminine but tailored? Do I want to follow the trends like a lot of women I know in my church? I'd like to try something like this but I'm afraid I'll look frumpy and have to deal with the hassle of returning it.
So what do I do? Have any of you ladies out there had these troubles? Am I making too big a deal out of this? I think our appearance matters as Christians and as a whole it sends a message. We need to dress in a way that reverences Christ and is not ostentatious. So...any suggestions?
13 comments:
I can very much relate to your dilemma Meredith as I too am 30-something and stuggle with a personal style and how it all reflects on my role as a Christian in society. I have tried dresses, and do love to wear them, but they are certainly impractical in some situations (like framing houses with my husband in the Canadian winter) but I also am told I look a bit frumpy too.
Having moved to a new city, I found Cleo (www.cleo.ca) which, though Canadian, has been a blessing to me because I can find affordable, great looking and easy care clothing that fits my somewhat ample body. It has also helped me develop a style that I find expresses my personality well without having to shop at several stores (not easy with four children in tow). Have fun with this challenge!
Connie, welcome and thanks for the encouragement. I went to the Cleo website. Their clothes are really beautiful. It looks like I couldn't purchase them on the web though.
I went to your blog and saw you are from Alberta. My husband and I honeymooned at Lake Louise. Breathtaking country!
Hey Meredith,
I hope that you find what you're looking for (how cliche does that sound!?).
I know that it took me a while (and some wasted money on some ugly clothes) to decide on what I like. I like Casual Corner's style (I checked online, and there are several in Malls in the Atlanta area), and have stuck with it for a couple of years. I'm up a creek when I'm pregnant, but that's okay...I have my favorites when I'm not, and I feel comfortable, modest, and up-to-date for the most part (although I'm definitely not Gap-trendy!).
:-)
Bless you!
Meredith~
I sent you an email, did you get it? For some reason blogger was not taking my comment the other day. :)
What about just starting with a denim or khaki skirt and a couple of shirts in you favorite colors and cuts? Of course I would like that, maybe you wouldn't.
I would encourage you not to think too much about what others are wearing or what they might think of your apparel. Those I dearly love and admire the most, did not earn my respect based on their fashion sense. :)
Merry Christmas Blessings~
Roberta :)
Hi Meredith,
Over the past year I have gone from cut-offs and tank tops to skirts and dresses. I too have struggled with my style but I think I have found it. I usually wear a long denim or cotton skirt that is not full. I think sometimes the fullness gives way to frumpiness(atleast for myself). I have been wearing alot of long sleeved t-shirts and if it is cold I put a sweater over them. I do live in southern California so it is not very cold here but when it is I wear leggings under my skirt. If you shop carefully you can find shoes that go well with a skirt and keep your feet warm.(try ll bean and overstock.com i like the doc marten maryjanes) If your skirt is down to your ankles then you can wear any shoe that you would wear in jeans. I know that oldnavy.com has several skirts right now that are long and styleish. I bought two of them there for $20.00 each. Of course as I write to you I am wearing jeans because I was out working in the garden. I do wear a skirt in the garden often because I am so used to wearing one that I am comfortable. I like the way that it forces my tom-boy tendencies to be more feminine by not allowing me to sit or do other things in certain ways. I hope this helps.
Love in Christ, Kimm
I agree with what Kimm said...I don't like full skirts, either, but ones that hang straight down.
And I can do anything pretty much in a skirt...you just have to get used to it.
:-)
A friend and I had a conversation where we were trying to come up with a reason for NOT wearing more dresses/skirts. She offered, "Chopping wood!" (which she does, but I definitely do NOT do!).
"Hmmm," she mused, "I guess I could even do THAT with a skirt on."
I think that acrobatics (gymnastics) and sledding are more pants-friendly activities, but during our last snow a week ago, my Bep was out there in her skirt, sledding down the big hill. I tried to talk her into wearing her sweats, but she said that she just "couldn't". She's more comfortable in a skirt than I am (and I'm pretty comfortable!) and she was always our tough tomboy!
Go figger!
I think you should ask for your husband's help. Not knowing your husband I don't know if this would be like extracting an impacted tooth or something he would enjoy. He seems to have a least a few opinions (the frumpy jumpers). He might help confirm what style you are leaning towards.
As far as the whole pants or dresses issue, again I would ask your husband. He knows you, your personality, your shape, your activities. I think our husbands are the ones who bring us security (aside from the Lord of course) even in our what and how we dress.
Being pregnant at the moment and having hand-outs from friends I can't say I'm actually in any style. However, in the off-season (not pregnant), I found going shopping with someone who is confident in their own style was particularly helpful. My little sister-in-law helped me figure out what colors looked really good on me and then what kinds of shirts, etc. complemented my figure. When I've stuck with what she suggested I've pretty much been able to be happy with what I'm wearing, my closet doesn't have alot of excess in it and what I have is what I really like -- except for now when I'm running out of cloth to cover the growing belly. Northern Reflections has a wide variety of styles and sizes and seem to fit those of us who are in that 30 something range and have had a few kids - and the sizes are what you would expect.
I think that you can definitely look feminine without looking frumpy. You don't have to wear a jumper to wear a dress that is comfortable either. I think a good place for you to look would be Hanna Anderson. Their clothes are a bit pricey, but hold up well. I think it is worth money spent because these clothes last through several seasons without shrinking. I also like their children's clothing for the same reason. It can be passed down again and again and still look like new. Their clothes are soft, comfortable, and functional. Even their sweatpants look feminine, I think. I think Hanna clothes are great for moms who still want to look feminine and attractive. You can also buy their clothes at the end of the season at greatly reduced prices. Hope that helps!
MamaK, I went sledding for years in dresses with lots of spandex pants underneath, too, Valerie.
I really like the styles at Coldwater Creek but they are expensive also.
What I do usually is find a company...coldwater creek, Talbots, April Cornell and then get a daily email from Ebay of what is available. Then every once in a while I see something worth bidding on.
Today I am wearing a Coldwater Creek pink jacket that I got off of Ebay. Just make sure the ebay ad says non smoking home and don't bid against me.
Amber, I like Hanna Andersson and my sister gets PJs for my kids every Christmas from there.
Cindy, how do you go about getting daily emails from ebay? Let the bidding war begin. Ha, ha.
Hi Meredith,
I wore only jumpers/dresses/skirts for around seven or eight years, but now I do wear jeans/cords. I do 96% of my clothing shopping at Goodwill (which is less than two miles from my house) so I try to go there weekly to quickly look through everything. I have been able to buy top quality clothing items for $3.50 to $6.50 per item, and sometimes for less.
I have found that my favorite skirt is a straight skirt with no pockets or pleats. Even though I'm slightly above average height and I'm thin, skirts with pockets and pleats make my hips look much bigger than they are and I just look more frumpy. I have a few long lined wool skirts in black and charcoal gray that I use for church or school events. I usually wear a nice sweater or turtleneck/cardigan combo with them. I stick with basic, classic styles, and try to have only a few main colors so that I can mix and match. When I wear the long skirts I wear black tights and black leather over-the-ankle boots that I've owned for around twelve years. They are rather classic looking and I had a teenage girl at church compliment them a couple months ago, so they must still be somewhat stylish. :-)
I love the color yellow, but years ago a friend told me to NEVER wear that color, so I don't. It really makes my skin look horribly washed out and sallow. I have green eyes, so I usually wear sage, pine, or olive green. I also wear a lot of black and brown.
My father bought me a cute brown corduroy jacket this year for my 40th birthday and this fall I wore it with both jeans and skirts. It was my one trendy item, but it went well with the classic look that I like.
I guess my advice would be to try to find good quality clothing that is comfortable and that makes you feel happy/attractive/feminine. I find that when I'm happy with my clothes, I forget about them and then I don't feel self-conscious and can focus on other things.
Black. That is my answer, Meredith. Anything in black.
Bet you are none too surprised at that too, eh?
~Big smile~
Warmly,
Ann V.
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