SHEPHERDING A CHILD'S HEART - pt. 6

Join Karen, Lis and myself as we continue to review Ted Tripp's book, Shepherding a Child's Heart. Please excuse my tardiness in posting today. We have been on a vacation, of sorts. We went on a short trip to SC to visit my parents and planned to come back this week and do all sorts of fun outdoor activities and day trips. The weather has not cooperated so our plans have been changed a little. Anyway, this review will be a bit shorter than usual since it's late and I want to go to bed.

Chapter 9 - Embracing Biblical Methods: Types of Communication
Chapter 10 - A Life of Communication

These two chapters go hand in hand quite nicely. He first lays out the types of communication we need to have with our children. The way we speak with our children should be so much more than laying down a rule and then correcting and disciplining for an offense. It is a many layered approach to communicating with your children and talking with them about the things of God and the things of life. The types of communication he includes are:

Encouragement
Correction
Rebuke
Entreaty
Instruction
Warning
Teaching
Prayer

His main point in both chapters is that we need to sensitively and biblically communicate with our children according to their needs and the need of the moment. This takes patience, time, effort, prayer and lots of sacrifice. As most of us know who have more than one child, each child requires a different approach. This is why I like this book so much. I have discovered the missing piece in disciplining my children -- cultivating relationship. Mr. Tripp emphasizes this point over and over, especially in these chapters about communication. He also points to two very important parts of Scripture throughout his discussions: Deuteronomy 6 and the whole book of Proverbs. Deuteronomy 6 is instructing parents, specifically fathers, to incorporate a lifestyle of biblical communication and instruction in the home. In Proverbs, you see the writer continually entreating his son to listen and pay attention to his teachings. In the past I have wanted to settle for a three step plan for parenting. Just give me the list of offenses that need to be punished and the correct punishment for each offense and I'll be happy. My friends, it doesn't work that way!! The Lord wants us to have a rich and rewarding relationship with our children. This can only come through a process of radical, dying to self sacrifice on behalf of our children. It can only come when we stop thinking about our agendas and start really listening to our children, even our toddlers who continually ask the same questions. AARRGGHH! isn't that frustrating at times! The cost is high, as Mr. Tripp points out, but the benefits and rewards of this sacrifice far outweigh the cost. I saw this lived out yesterday as I stopped at my local homeschool bookstore. It is a family run business and yesterday I was doing business with the family's eldest son. He was very helpful and very talkative. One thing he couldn't stop talking about was how much he loved and appreciated his parents now that he's 23 years old. He understands so much more the sacrifices his parents made and how hard it was for them. I could tell that this family was very close and those parents had made the sacrifices necessary to enjoy the benefits of a rich relationship with their children later on. I have already tasted some of these benefits with our 8 year old son and I look forward to the days when we will be able to enjoy even richer and deeper communication with him and all of our children.

Please feel free to comment and share your experiences. Blessings!