THOUGHTS ON RELATIONSHIPS

Just got home from church and had lunch. Today's emphasis for the 40 days of purpose that we're going through was You Were Formed for God's Family. We talked about how we're supposed to relate in the body of Christ. On the way home, my DH and I had a good conversation about why our relationships with other families aren't as intimate as we'd like. I've whined about not finding anyone around here who's of like mind with us. I've whined about always seeming to be left out in groups of people. I've been pessimistic about relationships. Hey, I've just been a whiner and continually attended my own one woman pity party. Really, I'm not like that all the time, just when I've thought about my relationships.

Well my husband, bless him, made a really incisive analogy. He said that we're going about our relationships like he went about trying to find someone to marry. We didn't get married until he was 35. And the reason it took him so long he says was because he had this predetermined picture of what his spouse would be like in terms of age and interests. I said that it took him so long because he had to wait until I graduated high school (LOL, I'm 12 years his junior). Anyway because he thought that his spouse had to be no more than 5 years his junior, be an expert skier and love volleyball, he had a hard time finding that person. This, he says, is what we've been doing with relationships. This hit home with me especially. I've been pessimistic about any relationship because we are not like minded. It's great to be able to converse with those who have the same convictions about family and theology and education but let's face it - I don't live near many of them. And you know what? We as a body of believers are called to be in relationship with people who may not have the same convictions as we do. Paul speaks about this in Romans 14 and 15. So I've been convicted today of despising those relationships that I already have because I don't think they're good enough. Lord, thank You for showing me this conceit that's in my heart and thank You for cleansing me of it. Teach me to love as You do. I'm reminded of this line from a Rich Mullins song (who I love by the way) -

My friends aren't the way I wish they were,
They are just the way they are.
I will be my brother's keeper
Not the one who judges him
I won't despise him for his weakness
I won't regard him for his strength.

That's from the Brother's Keeper album, the last complete album he made before he died sadly in a car accident on the way to a concert.

So, my husband and I are going to try to be more diligent and intentional about growing our relationships with at least 2 or 3 other families. By the way, I'm not against people getting together with other people of like mind, a la HSC. I just know that I'm not living in a community like that right now. In fact, I believe God has called us to stay right where we are so we can influence others. Lord, I pray we will.