A HOMESCHOOLING MOM'S PRAYER

I've been fearful and anxious over the summer thinking about school. Specifically I've been afraid of having my son enter 6th grade. About a month ago I decided to fight the fear with gratitude. Throughout my time with the Lord this summer, He has placed specific desires in my heart for this coming school year. I have turned them into a prayer that I'd like to share with you.

Thank You, Lord, for giving me the gift of my children and the calling to homeschool them. You have placed this desire in my heart and where You lead You have promised to guide and provide. Take my eyes off myself right now and place them on You and Your promises. Thank You that all the promises You have made find their "Yes!" in Christ Jesus (2 Corinthians 1:20) You are my help and my shield and to You I will look during times of need. I choose to put my trust in You now and my heart rejoices.(Psalm 33:20-21) I am overwhelmed by fear sometimes, Lord, but I look to You now knowing that in quietness and trust is my strength. (Isaiah 30:15) You have not given me a spirit of fear and I reject that spirit in the name of Jesus Christ. You have given me a spirit of power, love and a sound mind. (2 Timothy 1:7) Fix my eyes on You, Lord. You are in control and I joyfully submit to You and look to You for everything I need. (1 Corinthians 1:30) Your grace is more than enough in my weakness and I don't need to worry because You are faithful and will accomplish Your good purposes in me and in my children. (2 Corinthians 12:9, 1 Thessalonians 5:24)

In Jesus' name I pray, Amen.

LISTEN FOR THE "SQUEAK"

Not for the squeak of the mouse, but the squeak of the dishes as they're being wiped. In one of the Little House books, Laura describes the daily ritual of wiping the dishes. She comments on how much she enjoys listening to the squeak of the dishes as she wipes them dry on a summer evening. When I first read that some years ago, I paused and thought how quaint and old fashioned that sounded. Then I really began to think about it. I don't wipe my dishes so I can't listen for the squeak. But even if I did have to dry them, would I even be aware enough to listen? I think I would just be trying to get the chore done as fast as possible. Enjoy a squeak? That sounds so odd to my modern ears because I do a lot of mindless living. My default position is to reach for something to occupy my brain. I've been well trained by this media addicted culture. So I've been trying to set a new default position. It's called pay attention mode. Here are some new things I've taken the time to experience:

the smell of a freshly sliced orange

walking outside in the rain with my arms outstretched to the sky

the amazing growing body of my 8 year old son

You can "hear the squeak" in any place and at any time. I'm hoping and praying that as my default position continues to be reset I will look forward to the silence and no longer be bored or afraid.

WHO IS THIS PERSON?

Have you noticed the new picture on my sidebar? Pretty cool, huh? It's not a childhood photo of me though. I don't even know who it is. But it does perfectly capture the state of mind (no, I think soul is the better word) I've come to in the past six months or so. An enraptured sense of freedom and abandonment to God that I've never known. I'm not walking on "cloud nine" every day, but there is a freshness there that has only come as I've let go of a lot of things - performance, reputation, etc. A whole world of difference from the person I used to be at the beginning of my walk with Him almost 17 years ago.

"HOW PRECIOUS IS YOUR STEADFAST LOVE, O GOD!

THE CHILDREN OF MANKIND TAKE REFUGE

IN THE SHADOW OF YOUR WINGS.

THEY FEAST ON THE ABUNDANCE OF YOUR HOUSE,

AND YOU GIVE THEM DRINK FROM THE RIVER OF YOUR DELIGHTS.

FOR WITH YOU IS THE FOUNTAIN OF LIFE;

IN YOUR LIGHT DO WE SEE LIGHT."

PSALM 36:7-9

I will write more specifically in subsequent posts about what God has been teaching me and doing in me. I will never be a completed work this side of heaven, but the eyes of my heart are being opened wider and wider and I just cry, "More!" We were made for so much more than this sin-stained world and yet He gives us glimpses of the glory all around us. Open my eyes to the vastness of Your majesty here, Lord, and let it spark my faith and drive my pursuit of You.