WAITING AND WATCHING

My first child took to reading like a pro. Even though he had never gone to preschool and I had only given him minimal reading lessons, he progressed very rapidly and had virtually no problems. I had purchased Phonics Pathways and we probably skipped half the book. By first grade we were reading The Magician's Nephew together. I do not say this to brag. It's important to know this as I tell you about my next child. He is a sweetheart. Even at 8 years old, you still get the urge to just "eat him up" like he was two and had fat, dimply cheeks. He has been the opposite of his older brother. I started him in Phonics Pathways in kindergarten. He is in second grade now and we still haven't gotten to the midway point in the book. We never skip anything. We have even gone backwards in the book after realizing we were going too fast and his retention was slipping.

During this time I have had varying degrees of anxiety. I have considered testing. I have considered much more expensive curriculum. But the one thing I have learned to give him has been absolutely free --- time.

Consider this - you plant a seed under the ground. You've learned about the process of germination and how long it takes for this seed to sprout and start growing. Wouldn't it be ridiculous to go out into the garden, stand over the little plot of soil and start tapping your foot in impatience? And then when you can't stand it any longer you burst out and yell, "Would you hurry up and grow already!!!" Of course this sounds ridiculous. But don't we do this with our children? Instead of studying them and observing how their little brains are developing and maturing we study charts and read books about where our children need to be at a certain grade level. Who invented grade levels anyway? We get anxious and push them to do things their brains are not mature enough to do. I guess the frustrating part in all this is while we can study about the growth and germination and development of a seed or a plant, each child is different in how they grow and mature. There is no chart that will tell you exactly when your child's brain will grasp this concept or that fact. The only thing you can do is wait and watch. If you push and scream and get worried it's just as if you went out into the garden every day and dug into the soil and constantly looked at the progress of that seed. Will the seed sprout if you do this? Probably not. Thankfully our children do learn despite our impatience and mistakes. That is definitely grace.

I have been a witness to some remarkable growth in this second child lately. Without my prompting he has been picking up books above his reading level and attempting to read them. His desire to read has exploded. What did I do? What was the secret? Well here it is my dear friends. You will not find this in the next catalog or at the next convention but it's absolutely free --- time and faith. It has been a joy to see all this growth happening and even better - I had very little to do with it. I can read to him and create an environment where books are available and enjoyed but I cannot crawl into this child's brain and make it mature to the next level of comprehension.

Blessings to you.

CONVICTION - PART 1



Since becoming a Christian almost 16 years ago I've encountered many areas of life where convictions need to be formed. Many of these are not explicitly talked about in the Bible. Some of these areas include education, birth control, driving the speed limit, etc. I'd like to write about what I'll call the evolution of conviction. How have I come to have certain convictions? There's a lot involved in this. How are we influenced to take certain positions? Why do we decide to have certain convictions but not others? Where should we hold firm our convictions and where should we give grace and latitude? Do our convictions cause us to be prideful and alienate others? And lastly and probably most importantly, should we hang out only with people who have the same convictions? (You know, the whole like-minded concept.) Over the years I've been surprised by how many convictions I've held but haven't owned. Does that make sense? I have taken positions on issues just because some new and popular teacher says so. I have become convicted about other things because I thought it made me look more spiritual. I wish I could say that all my convictions have come through rigorous study and diligent prayer. Nope. I have been guilty more than once (way more) of just following the herd. Here's the next best thing that's come out of the homeschool movement or Reformed theology so I better jump in.

Today I'm striving to get my head out of the sand in my own backyard. It can be quite isolating and stressful trying to make sure you have all the right convictions. What if I don't measure up? What does it say about me if I'm not doing everything right? What if I don't meet my own expectations? These are questions I've been thinking about and working through with the Lord. He has shown tremendous grace in showing me how idolatrous and prideful all of that is. He is showing me how truly messy life can be and how I can be OK with that. How I can be OK with myself just the way I am. Convictions are good if your goal in having them is "love from a pure heart and a good conscience and a sincere faith." (1 Timothy 1:5) More often my goal in having convictions has been to be better than everyone else and to somehow attain God's favor and feel good about myself that I'm doing the right thing. Ouch.

I will write more about this soon.