JOHN PIPER ON NOT BEING OVERCOME BY EVIL

From his sermon on March 20, 2005 --

"We let our emotions and our thoughts and our actions be reflexes to what people say and do to us. And the corollary is that we can then blame them for our evil-our anger, our bitterness, our discouragement, our depression, our vengeance. But Paul says, No. When Christians encounter evil, they don't merely respond to evil, they respond to Christ who deals with the evil. He died for it, or He will punish it in hell. Christ is the dominant reality in our lives, not other people's evil. Therefore, do not be overcome by evil. Do not be governed by it. Do not let your enemy's hostility make you hostile."

These are wise and penetrating words from a man I deeply respect. I urge you to read the whole sermon in light of what's going on in Pinellas Park.

Blessings.

SEEKING WISDOM RE:TERRI SCHIAVO

I, like many others, have gone through the gamut of emotions as I've followed the Terri Schiavo story. I have cried out to God praying for justice and mercy. I've screamed at the radio a couple times after hearing someone put forth as fact things that are patently false. I've stopped watching the news concerning this issue. If I hear one more news personality report a poll result as fact I think I'll scream. Kudos to all of those bloggers out there who have been faithfully and truthfully reporting the facts of this case.

I thank God for a husband who has wisely kept my emotions in check these past two weeks. He is angered about this issue but has kept reminding me that God is on the throne. That doesn't mean we've had an attitude of "what will be will be". But as I've read other Christians' responses to this case, I have felt more and more that we, as the Body of Christ, need to be very careful in our responses. We need God's wisdom to know how to respond, what to do, and even how to speak and pray about this issue. The last couple days, two passages of Scripture have come to mind.

Proverbs 8

"I, wisdom, dwell with prudence, and I find knowledge and discretion. The fear of the Lord is to hate evil; pride and arrogance and the evil way, and the perverted mouth, I hate. Counsel is mine and sound wisdom; I am understanding, power is mine. By me kings reign, and rulers decree justice. By me princes rule, and nobles, all who judge rightly. I love those who love me; and those who diligently seek me will find me." (v. 12-17) "Now therefore, O sons, listen to me, for blessed are they who keep my ways. Heed instruction and be wise, and do not neglect it. Blessed is the man who listens to me, watching daily at my gates, waiting at my doorposts. For he who finds me finds life, and obtains favor from the Lord. But he who sins against me injures himself; all those who hate me love death." (v. 32-36)

It would have been easy for me to read that and stop there and respond with righteous indignation. While I believe strongly that Proverbs 8 speaks powerfully to the Schiavo situation I need to consider the whole counsel of scripture as well. There is a principle I have been taught which I will call the 'both/and' principle. The reason why I love and respect my husband so much is that he keeps me from going to extremes on either end of the spectrum. Yes, certain "talking heads" on radio and TV are recycling the same old lies about this case and it's right that we should try to correct them. But I shouldn't scream at the radio/TV and get so emotional that I neglect my primary responsiblities of caring for my husband and children. We all must do what we believe God has called us to do. We are all gifted in different ways. Some may be led to speak out, go to Pinellas Park and peacefully protest. Some may be led to speak out against this culture of death that is taking over this nation. Some may be led to fight this case through the legal system. Some may be in a strategic position to speak to Gov. Bush or President Bush. We all, I believe, must pray and seek wisdom as to how each of us, as families and individuals, need to respond. We all need to remember, above all else, that we are not ultimately warring against flesh and blood (Ephesians 6). This leads me to the second passage of scripture - Romans 12. I believe the whole chapter is applicable in this situation but especially v. 9-21.

Romans 12:9-21

"Let love be without hypocrisy. Abhor what is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in brotherly love; give preference to one another in honor; not lagging behind in diligence, fervent in spirit, serving the Lord; rejoicing in hope, persevering in tribulation, devoted to prayer, contributing to the needs of the saints, practicing hospitality. Bless those who persecute you; bless and curse not. Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep. Be of the same mind toward one another; do not be haughty in mind, but associate with the lowly. Do not be wise in your own estimation. Never pay back evil for evil to anyone. Respect what is right in the sight of all men. If possible, so far as it depends on you, be at peace with all men. Never take your own revenge, beloved, but leave room for the wrath of God, for it is written, 'Vengeance is Mine, I will repay,' says the Lord. 'But if your enemy is hungry, feed him, and if he is thirsty, give him a drink; for in so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.' Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good."

Two more points. I believe with all my heart that the church in this nation needs to be known more for its love for one another and its repentant spirit than how much power we can wield in the culture or in D.C. No, we should not compromise the gospel for it is the power of God unto salvation (Romans 1). May we live lives that reflect the uncompromising truth of the gospel and the love and compassion of our Savior.

And secondly, if you are not already doing so, go visit the local assisted living facility and befriend someone there. Let us visit the widows and care for the orphans (James 1:27) These people are not worthless, they are created in the image of God. I believe this "behind-the-scenes" ministry will preach more powerfully than any blog post.

Lord Jesus, I get off my soapbox and fall on my knees coram Deo, before Your face, and repent of my lack of love for my neighbor and my brothers and sisters in Christ. Give me wisdom to know what to say, what to do and how to pray for this nation and Your church. Have mercy on us Lord and forgive us our sins. Be near Terri right now in her suffering and eventual death. Have mercy on her and Michael Schiavo. Enable me, through Your grace, to love and pray for those who love death in this culture, for as You Yourself prayed as You were hanging on the cross, 'Forgive them, for they know not what they are doing.' I don't know what Your will is in this situation but I pray that Your Name would be glorified in all things. You are the only One who can bring good out of suffering and evil and I pray that You will do so in and through the suffering of Terri Schiavo. I pray all these things in the name of our Lord and only Savior Jesus Christ, who suffered more than any other to free us from sin and death. Amen.

GOOD FRIDAY

Our whole family went to Good Friday services at our church. That's probably the first time we were all together in the congregation and no one was singing in the choir or playing in the orchestra or downstairs in childcare. It was so wonderful that I still cannot find the words. I will try to write about it in a later post. For now I would like to share this hymn with you.

AND CAN IT BE

And can it be that I should gain
An interest in the Savior's blood?
Died he for me, who caused His pain?
For me, who Him to death pursued?
Amazing love! how can it be
That Thou, my God shouldst die for me?

He left His Father's throne above,
So free, so infinite His grace!
Emptied Himself of all but love,
And bled for Adam's helpless race!
'Tis mercy all, immense and free,
For, O my God, it found out me.

Long my imprisoned spirit lay
Fast bound in sin and nature's night.
Thine eye diffused a quick'ning ray:
I woke-the dungeon flamed with light!
My chains fell off, my heart was free,
I rose, went forth, and followed Thee.

No condemnation now I dread:
Jesus, and all in Him, is mine!
Alive in Him, my living Head,
And clothed in righteousness divine,
Bold I approach th'eternal throne,
And claim the crown, thru Christ my own.

Amazing love! how can it be
That Thou, my God, shouldst die for me!

Blessings to all this precious day.

RICH MULLINS (via Fanny Crosby)

Today I was listening to Rich Mullins' version of All of the Way My Savior Leads Me. I also came across the hymn in my hymn book and played a bit of it on the piano. I like Rich's arrangement a whole lot better. Boy, do I regret never seeing that man in concert before he died.

All of the way my Savior leads me
What have I to ask beside?
Can I doubt His faithful mercies
Who through life has been my guide

Heavenly peace, divinest comfort
Ere by faith in Him to dwell
For I know whatever fall me
Jesus doeth all things well

All of the way my Savior leads me
And He cheers each winding path I tread.
Gives me strength for every trial
And He feeds me with the living bread.

Though my weary steps may falter
And my soul a thirst may be
Gushing from a rock before me
Though a spirit joy I see

And all the way my Savior leads me
Oh the fulness of His love
Perfect rest in me is promised
In my father's house above

When my spirit clothed immortal
Wings its flight to realms of day
This my song through endless ages
Jesus led me all the way

This song is on The World as Best as I Remember It, vol. 2. I love the guitar chords on the word "gushing". Wow, just perfect how he wrote that song and chose just the right instruments.

I need to go to bed now. Blessings.

P.S. Keep praying for Terry Schiavo. Dory over at Wittenberg Gate has been my source for the most thoughtful and incisive commentary and links this past week or so. Thanks Dory.

WONDERFUL ALLEGORIES

How does that saying go again? "Dance with the one that brung ya." In any case, I urge you to go find the original, Japanese version of the movie Shall We Dance. The Americanized version with Richard Gere and Jennifer Lopez will not do for the purposes of what I'm about to write.

Let me explain what's going on in the movie so the quote will have more impact. An amateur ballroom dance couple is being coached for competition by an experienced professional dancer. She has been depressed for a while because she and her partner recently failed at the most prestigious dance competition, Blackpool. She returned home and was miserable teaching in her father's dance studio. But then, as I said, she starts coaching an amateur couple for competition. I want to quote from a letter she writes to her male student, Mr. Sugiyama.

During the months we practiced for the competition, something began to change within me. I came to realize that I had always danced alone, never fully trusting my partner. My failure at Blackpool was not his fault (her partner had not protected her after they had collided with another couple and fell during the competition). It was a natural result of me dancing only for myself. It was you who taught me the splendor of dance when you trust and enjoy. I decided to start again from the beginning.

It is Jesus who is teaching me the splendor of living the abundant life (John 10:10) when I fully trust Him and surrender joyfully to His leading, moment by moment.

"Make me know Thy ways, O Lord; teach me Thy paths. Lead me in Thy truth and teach me, for Thou art the God of my salvation; for Thee I wait all the day." Psalm 25:4-5

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Pick up The Velveteen Rabbit and read it to your children this week. As I read it to my children I realized the wonderful allusions to rebirth and resurrection that are contained in the story. Here are some quotes:

"What is REAL?" asked the Rabbit one day, when they were lying side by side near the nursery fender, before Nana came to tidy the room. "Does it mean having things that buzz inside you and a stick-out handle?"
"Real isn't how you are made," said the Skin Horse. "It's a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real."
"Does it hurt?" asked the Rabbit.
"Sometimes, " said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. "When you are Real you don't mind being hurt."
"Does it happen all at once, like being wound up," he asked, "or bit by bit?"
"It doesn't happen all at once," said the Skin Horse. "You become. It takes a long time. That's why it doesn't often happen to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand."
"I suppose you are Real?" said the Rabbit. And then he wished he had not said it, for he thought the Skin Horse might be sensitive. But the Skin Horse only smiled.
"The Boy's Uncle made me Real," he said. "That was a great many years ago; but once you are Real you can't become unreal again. It lasts for always."
The Rabbit sighed. He thought it would be a long time before this magic called Real happened to him. He longed to become Real, to know what it felt like; and yet the idea of growing shabby and losing his eyes and whiskers was rather sad. He wished that he could become it without these uncomfortable things happening to him.

And later on in the story, after the Rabbit has become Real, but has been discarded after the Boy suffered with scarlet fever ~~~~

...He thought of the Skin Horse, so wise and gentle, and all that he had told him. Of what use was it to be loved and lose one's beauty and become Real if it all ended like this? And a tear, a real tear, trickled down his little shabby velvet nose and fell to the ground.
And then a strange thing happened. For where the tear had fallen a flower grew out of the ground, a mysterious flower, not at all like any that grew in the garden. It had slender green leaves the colour of emeralds, and in the centre of the leaves a blossom like a golden cup. It was so beautiful that the little Rabbit forgot to cry, and just lay there watching it. And presently the blossom opened, and out of it there stepped a fairy.
She was quite the loveliest fairy in the whole world. Her dress was of pearl and dewdrops, and there were flowers round her neck and in her hair, and her face was like the most perfect flower of all. And she came close to the little Rabbit and gathered him up in her arms and kissed him on his velveteen nose that was all damp from crying.
"Little Rabbit," she said, "don't you know who I am?"
The Rabbit looked up at her, and it seemed to him that he had seen her face before, but he couldn't think where.
"I am the nursery magic Fairy," she said. "I take care of all the playthings that the children have loved. When they are old and worn out and the children don't need them any more, then I come and take them away with me and turn them into Real."
"Wasn't I Real before?" asked the little Rabbit.
"You were Real to the Boy," the fairy said, "because he loved you. Now you shall be Real to every one."
And she held the little Rabbit close in her arms and flew with him into the wood.
It was light now, for the moon had risen. All the forest was beautiful, and the fronds of the bracken shone like frosted silver. In the open glade between the tree-trunks the wild rabbits danced with their shadows on the velvet grass, but when they saw the Fairy they all stopped dancing and stood round in a ring to stare at her.
"I've brought you a new playfellow," the Fairy said. "You must be very kind to him and teach him all he needs to know in Rabbit-land, for he is going to live with you for ever and ever!"
And she kissed the little Rabbit again and put him down on the grass.
"Run and play, little Rabbit!" she said. But the little Rabbit sat quite still for a moment and never moved. For when he saw all the wild rabbits dancing around him he suddenly remembered about his hind legs, and he didn't want them to see that he was made all in one piece. He did not know that when the Fairy had kissed him that last time she had changed him altogether. And he might have sat there a long time, too shy to move, if just then something hadn't tickled his nose, and before he thought what he was doing he lifted his hind toe to scratch it.
And he found that he actually had hind legs! Instead of dingy velveteen he had brown fur, soft and shiny, his ears twitched by themselves, and his whiskers were so long that they brushed the grass. He gave one leap and the joy of using those hind legs was so great that he went springing about the turf on them, jumping sideways and whirling round as the others did, and he grew so excited that when at last he did stop to look for the Fairy she had gone.
He was a Real Rabbit at last, at home with the other rabbits.

"Therefore we have been buried with Him through baptism into death, in order that as Christ was raised from the dead through the glory of the Father, so we too might walk in newness of life. For if we have become united with Him in the likeness of His death, certainly we shall be also in the likeness of His resurrection..." Romans 6:4-5

THE SPIRIT SEEKS

Last weekend I did a playing job at Emory University. For those who don't know, I am a trained professional clarinetist and do some performing around town when it is possible. I was hired to play in a pick-up orchestra to accompany a select adult choir who performs at Emory. This concert was to celebrate their 50th anniversary as a choir. I wasn't expecting much in terms of music, probably because I wasn't familiar with the pieces we were playing. I practiced my part but didn't know how it was going to come together. Well, it turned out to be one of the most rewarding playing experiences I've ever had. Lately, the Lord has really been releasing me from a lot of prideful stuff. However, in this one area of my life-playing the clarinet-it has been extremely hard to know how to do this in a completely God glorifying manner. Training to be a professional musician is a very self-focused thing, especially if you're not a Christian. I came to know the Lord when I was a sophomore in college, getting my music degree. Since then, the Lord has been slowly working in my heart to teach me how to focus on Him when I play, and not my performance or my ego. But like I said, it has been frustrating.

Anyway, on the way to the concert last Saturday night, I was praying and asking the Lord to glorify Himself through my performance. I sat down and warmed up for the concert and then waited while the choir sang two accapella pieces. I didn't know anything about these pieces so I just sat there and listened. Wow! The most beautiful sound lifted my soul up to heaven. The first piece was an old Gaelic hymn called, "Spirit Seeking Light and Beauty" and I don't remember the second piece. But what I do remember was one phrase that was burned into my mind -- "serene forgetting." I was so inwardly focused on my performance that I'd forgotten that my part was just one piece of a puzzle that when put together made a beautiful, melodious mosaic. When it came time to pick up my instrument for the rest of the first half of the concert, I was able, by His grace, to play without ego or concern for mistakes. I was in a state of serene self-forgetting. I only revelled in the beauty of the gift of music.

(p.s. I am earnestly seeking the words to that Gaelic hymn. When I find them I will put them on the blog.)


HERE'S A GOOD LINE FROM RICH MULLINS

"And your grace rings out so deep, it makes my resistance seem so small."

Name that tune, if you can :)



SCRAMBLED EGGS AND SANCTIFICATION

I know my tendency to want things to be done NOW is a result of my worldliness but God continues to work. (Have you ever put something in the microwave for 30 seconds and then stood there thinking, "Hurry up!") This morning I was making scrambled eggs. This is something I've done many times in the past 15+ years. Today, though, I was thinking about how important it is not to get the heat too hot and not to cook the eggs too fast. The perfect result takes time. Ditto for sanctification.

Just a thought.

HE SHALL FEED HIS FLOCK

As a sheep I don't know what I need to nourish me. To come to the Word, which is our daily bread, and be utterly dependent on the Father to feed me is liberating and quenches the most arid places in my soul. As Spurgeon says on the first morning of his devotional, Morning and Evening, "O for grace to feed on Jesus, and so to eat of the fruit of the land of Canaan this year!"

"...for it is good for the heart to be strengthened by grace, not by foods, through which those who were thus occupied were not benefited." Hebrews 13:9

"I will feed them in a good pasture, and their grazing ground will be on the mountain heights of Israel. There they will lie down in good grazing ground, and they will feed in rich pasture on the mountains of Israel. I will feed My flock and I will lead them to rest, declares the Lord God." Ezekiel 34:14-15

"Hear, O my people, and I will admonish you; O Israel, if you would listen to Me! Let there be no strange god among you; nor shall you worship any foreign god. I, the Lord, am your God, Who brought you up from the land of Egypt; open your mouth wide and I will fill it. But I would feed you with the finest of the wheat; and with honey from the rock I would satisfy you." Psalm 81:8-10, 16

"Like a shepherd He will tend His flock, in His arm He will gather the lambs, and carry them in His bosom; He will gently lead the nursing ewes." Isaiah 40:11

"...dwell in the land and feed on His faithfulness." Psalm 37:3b

"Let the word of Christ richly dwell within you..." Colossians 3:16a

THE POISON OF CYNICISM

This post has been brewing in me for a while now. God has again been peeling back the layers and showing me the idols I cling to and the puny presuppositions that have been hindering me from living freely in Christ. What is cynicism? It is being contemptuously distrustful of any or all people, teachings, motives, etc. As I've tried to be a noble Berean (Acts 17) I have fallen into a contemptuous cynicism that has poisoned my soul. As I've become more excessively devoted to my little soapboxes and less devoted to the Lord Himself I've more resembled the Pharisees. (Just a disclaimer-the soapboxes I've been devoted to are good things like homeschooling and the glorious doctrines of grace but if my knowledge doesn't result in love for my neighbor I am sadly misguided.) Here are some Scriptures that have pierced my soul this past week:

1 Corinthians 8 (the whole chapter but specifically the beginning) "Now concerning things sacrificed to idols, we know that we all have knowledge. Knowledge makes arrogant, but love edifies. If anyone supposes that he knows anything, he has not yet known as he ought to know; but if anyone loves God, he is known by Him." (verses 1-3)

Last Sunday God pierced me with the revelation that I have been so like the Pharisees in lording my "knowledge" over others --
"And He also told this parable to certain ones who trusted in themselves that they were righteous, and viewed others with contempt..." Luke 18:9

"Above all, keep fervent in your love for one another, because love covers a multitude of sins." 1 Peter 4:8
"And beyond all these things put on love, which is the perfect bond of unity." Colossians 3:14

May we as the corporate, world wide bride of Christ hold to the truth and at the same time "bear the weaknesses of those without strength and not just please ourselves. Let each of us please his neighbor for his good, to his edification. For even Christ did not please Himself..." (Romans 15:1-3a)

WHERE IS THE WISE MAN?

"Can you discover the depths of God? Can you discover the limits of the Almighty?" Job 11:7

"Oh, the depth of the riches both of the wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable are His judgments and unfathomable His ways! For who has known the mind of the Lord, or who became His counselor?" Romans 11:33-34

But how gracious is our God that He has not left us in darkness!

"For to us God revealed them through the Spirit; for the Spirit searches all things, even the depths of God. For who among men knows the thoughts of a man except the spirit of the man, which is in him? Even so the thoughts of God no one knows except the Spirit of God. Now we have received, not the spirit of the world, but the Spirit who is from God, that we might know the things freely given to us by God..." 1 Corinthians 2:10-12

I write a lot of notes in my Bible. The word copious would come close to describing it. The Lord is revealing to me how some of these notes and even how I approach studying the Bible could be characterized as earthly wisdom.

"Who among you is wise and understanding? Let him show by his good behavior his deeds in the gentleness of wisdom. But if you have bitter jealousy and selfish ambition in your heart, do not be arrogant and so lie against the truth. This wisdom is not that which comes down from above, but is earthly, natural, demonic. For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there is disorder and every evil thing. But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, reasonable, full of mercy and food fruits, unwavering, without hypocrisy. And the seed whose fuit is righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace." James 3:13-18

I love reading about theology and almost any other aspect of the Christian life - missionary biographies, Christian how-to (parenting, quiet time, evangelism, etc.). I especially like devotionals. Recently I had been trying to read two devotionals, plus Tabletalk, plus my Bible. Guess what was getting short shrift? The Bible. Well, about two weeks ago I started just using the Bible. Praying the Word and the Word only. Wow! Verses I had read hundreds of times are now leaping off the page.

"All Scripture is inspired by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, for training in righteousness; that the man of God may be adequate, equipped for every good work." 2 Timothy 3:16-17

That's one thing God says about His word. (Don't forget Psalm 119 either!) Here's a verse about the study of other books.

"But beyond this, my son, be warned: the writing of many books is endless, and excessive devotion to books is wearying to the body." Ecclesiastes 12:12

Excessive devotion to the Book that really matters has not wearied my body. It has made me more alive than I've ever been.

"But his delight is in the law of the Lord, and in His law he meditates day and night. and he will be like a tree firmly planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in its season, and its leaf does not wither; and in whatever he does, he prospers." Psalm 1:2-3


JOY IN DYING

"How shall this insidious motive of pleasure in being made much of be broken except through bending all my faculties to delight in the pleasure of making much of God! Christian Hedonism is the final solution. It is deeper than death to self. You have to go down deeper into the grave of the flesh to find the truly freeing stream of miracle water that ravishes you with the taste of God's glory. Only in that speechless, all-satisfying admiration is the end of self."

John Piper, Future Grace


STEVE GREEN SINGS MY HEART THIS WEEK!

(All lyrics are from Morning Light CD)

In the morning, deep calls to deep
In the morning, You quietly speak
In the morning, You find those who seek
In the morning.

In the morning, I listen and wait
In the morning, faith anticipates
In the morning, You make my way straight
In the morning.
~~~~
Awake my soul and with the sun
Thy daily stage of duty run
Shake off sloth and joyful rise
To pay thy morning sacrifice

Direct, control, suggest this day
All I do, design or say
That all my powers with all their might
In Thy glory may unite.
~~~~
I want to sing with joy
For You renew my being in the morning
Soul, wake up now
The darkness is fleeing
Come to the holy light
Of our Lord, Jesus Christ

So I will wait in quiet,
earnest anticipation
And I will listen to You.
~~~~

"Yet those who wait for the Lord will gain new strength; they will mount up with wings like eagles, they will run and not get tired, they will walk and not become weary." Isaiah 40:31

SPIRITUAL POLYGAMY

(Please read the previous post for background.)

Why am I "married" to a method, or my theology, or my philosophy? To whom am I married, ultimately speaking?

"And I will betroth you to Me forever; Yes, I will betroth you to Me in righteousness and in justice, in lovingkindness and in compassion, and I will betroth you to me in faithfulness. Then you will know the Lord." Hosea 2:19-20

"Oh, the depth of the riches both of the wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable are His judgments and unfathomable His ways! For who has known the mind of the Lord, or who became His counselor?" Romans 11:33-34

Feed me more, O Bread of Life!!!

SPIRITUAL FAKING (GALATIANS 5:6 & ROMANS 14:23)

"For in Christ Jesus neither circumcision nor uncircumcision means anything, but faith working through love." Galatians 5:6

"But he who doubts is condemned if he eats, because his eating is not from faith; and whatever is not from faith is sin." Romans 14:23

The Lord has been peeling back layer after layer, scale after scale. It's difficult to know what to write and that's why I haven't in a couple days. It's not that there wasn't anything new to write; it's just that I wanted to be sure that what I did write was glorifying to God. I don't really care if I'm misunderstood. What God has been doing in my life these past two weeks especially can only be characterized as a watershed in my walk with Him. As a result, I'm praying and waiting for the right words to describe what is happening. He is teaching me that I don't necessarily have to emote about every single detail. What I need to do is listen to Him (His word), rely on the Spirit's guidance and share only what He wants me to share, when He wants me to share it.

So, what do I mean by spiritual faking? For all my spiritual life I've had a zeal for knowledge. I loved learning new things. And as I said before, if I admired someone's method I tried to implement for me. Guess what? Failure. Duh! One example -- I've always felt like a failure in evangelism because I never had success using XYZ method, whether it be The Four Spiritual Laws, The Bridge, etc. I would go into relationships with this method as my 'god' and if the results didn't follow (i.e. decision for Christ, ask me questions about my faith, etc.) I felt like a failure. The Lord is graciously and sensitively showing me how stupid I've been. I've been married to the method and as a result come off like a fake. Because I was looking at people through a certain lense or paradigm or whatever, I never really saw them! I was only looking at them as a statistic or a notch on my spiritual belt, a potential jewel in my crown. Wow, how humbling this has been, but wonderfully freeing at the same time!!! I'm asking God to work according to His ways, in His time, for His glory. I'm praying these words all the time (they may sound corny but I don't care) - "Lord, may my words be few, and may they be of You."

Back to the verses I quoted. I have been living by faith, but not faith in God, in the knowledge that He will be exalted in the nations and in the earth. I have been living by faith in my puny Meredith-centered methods. And as a result I come across as a fake. These past two weeks I have lived in so much freedom I cannot describe it. Scripture I've read for years is coming alive and sins I've struggled with for so long are just falling off me like dead weight. This verse is especially coming alive for me - "He who has foujnd his life shall lose it, and he who has lost his life for My sake shall find it." Matthew 10:39

Later I want to write about how I've been a spiritual polygamist. I've been married to my laws, my way of seeing the world, my theology, etc. But for now my kids and I need to scale Mt. Washmore.

TWILA PARIS WRITES MY HEART THIS WEEK

From Perennial-Songs for the seasons of life

Fountain of Grace

You have been faithful when I have been faithless
Oh, unending Fountain of Grace
Forever giving when I have been selfish
Oh, unending fountain of Grace

Still the beginning of all that is holy
Unsearchable, Ancient of Days
I kneel before You and offer this vessel
Oh, unending fountain of Grace

You were the constant when I chose to wander
Oh, unending fountain of Grace
You were forgiveness when I cried for mercy
Oh, unending fountain of Grace

You are the author of all that is finished
I owe you my life and my praise
I kneel before You and offer this vessel
Oh, unending Fountain of Grace
Pour out the water of life on this vessel
Oh, unending Fountain of Grace

Words fail me to describe what the Lord has been doing in my heart. This is where blogs pale in comparison to sharing our lives with one another, in the flesh. If you wish to talk to me more about this, please email me privately at beattym@bellsouth.net


NEW BEAUTY AND DIET REGIMEN

OK, are you ready? This is what you do...

Feed on Christ. Believe Him. Make his Word your very food.

"Then He said to me, 'Son of man, eat what you find; eat this scroll, and go, speak to the house of Israel.' So I opened my mouth, and He fed me this scroll. And He said to me, 'Son of man, feed your stomach, and fill your body (literally inward parts) with this scroll which I am giving you.' The I ate it, and it was sweet as honey in my mouth." Ezekiel 3:1-3

"Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised." Proverbs 31:30

(Doesn't this beat giving up carbs?!)


JOY OF COOKING REVISITED

I received this cookbook as a Christmas present from my mother-in-law in 1997. For several years I didn't even attempt to make anything out of it because I was so intimidated by the size of the book and the small type. I thought it could not possibly work for a relatively inexperienced cook such as myself. Well, one day I decided to take a risk and read about how to make an apple pie from scratch. Yes, I read all the instructions. And guess what? It came out great. Since then I've had great success with several recipes in the book. Even though it doesn't have colored pictures for every recipe, it has helped me with some basic cooking knowledge. If you have the book, here are the recipes I've tried lately:

Salmon fillets roasted in butter (pg. 551)
Slow roasted boneless pork loin (pg. 688)

These recipes are very easy to follow and have basic ingredients. Money has been tight this week and when I realized I didn't have enough egg noodles to complement the salmon, I used...Ramen noodles! Plain Ramen noodles and peas as a bed for the salmon fillets roasted in butter. It was a big hit with my husband and my (picky) kids.

NOTE TO SELF RE:PARENTING

Lecture less, pray and fast more. Believe, wait and see what God will do.


MY HUSBAND: AN UNMINED TREASURE

Do I seek the wisdom of books and other teachers (men or women) instead of my husband? He is already called the spiritual leader of our marriage and home; he need not aspire to the position. Wait, pray, watch and see what God will do. When I bring my questions and concerns about anything first to God and then ask my husband's opinion - it's amazing what comes out of his mouth. I always knew he had wisdom but I think I never allowed him the chance and stepped out of God's way to allow God to speak through him. I love him more and respect him more than I ever have. Praise God for what He's doing in my heart and in our marriage.


SPIRITUAL CLONING

I love methods and formulas. I have tried to copy other people's methods and formulas in all sorts of areas of my life: parenting, infant care, prayer, scheduling a homeschool, Flylady, etc. Probably any problem I was having, I've tried to seek the advice of other women or men I respect. That is a good thing. I need to surround myself with wise people. However, let me give you an example of how this has backfired for so many years and how God has been graciously and gently teaching me about this this very week. I've always desired to have a vibrant prayer life. Most young moms feel frustrated that they don't have enough time with God to pray and meditate on His word. I was one of those. Years ago, I heard Peter Lord speak at our church. I spent money on his "method". "It worked for him," I told myself. "Wow, it can work for me too!" Soon after trying to implement his method, I failed (or so I thought). I felt guilty and would try again but soon failed again. More frustration. Then another person came to the church - Becky Tirabassi. "Wow, what a testimony," I said to myself. "Her method is great. I think I need to buy this. It will certainly work for me!" Guess what? Same results. More frustration and guilt. You know what I've seen this week? God has showed me how I've been trying to be a clone of whoever I admire or whatever method has worked for someone. It has failed because of this - God had worked in these different people's lives in amazing ways to bring them closer to Christ. God wants to work this way in my life, but not necessarily using the same methods! Yes, He wants me to pray and fast and meditate on the Scriptures. And be still and know that He is God and the way He works in my life will not look like a clone of someone else. In the past week, this has revolutionized my prayer life.


BLOGGING AND PROVERBS

"When there are many words, transgression is unavoidable, but he who restrains his lips is wise." Proverbs 10:19
A woman (me) who restrains her fingers from the keyboard and prays for wisdom before she blogs is wise too.
"She opens her mouth in wisdom and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue." Proverbs 31:26.


ONE MORE FOR NOW: BAPTISMAL FEAST, SOUTHERN BAPTIST STYLE

Last Sunday our church started a modest family baptism service. This was in the afternoon. Family and friends gathered in the chapel to worship and celebrate the baptism of 16 children ages 1st through 4th grade. Our whole family attended to share the joy of a family we are friends with. Their daughter was baptized. My children watched with wondering eyes and happy hearts their friends testify to their faith in Christ and why they wanted to get baptized. Most of the children quoted their favorite bible verse, John 3:16 and said they wanted to get baptized to follow Jesus in obedience. Afterwards, we celebrated with cake and fellowship with other families. Praise God with me as we anticipate the baptism of our son#1 on May 15th in another family baptism service at our church. Praise Him for He is answering the prayers of His people according to His good will and timing.